Marriage is hard enough on its own, but it can be even harder when one of the spouses has obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Living with a spouse that has OCD can make life hard and marriage hard, but there are things you might be able to do to reduce some of the stress placed on you by this condition. Here are three tips that could help you with this problem.
Gain A Better Understanding Of What OCD Is
The first step you may want to take is learning more about OCD. OCD is a condition that causes extreme perfection, excessive rituals, and what can seem like strange or unusual tasks, and it is usually caused by fear. Here are some examples of this:
- The house must be spotless – Some people with OCD are so fearful that visitors might show up that they spend every minute cleaning. They want perfection in every area of their homes, even areas no one will ever see.
- Everything has a place – OCD can also cause some people to want to have everything in its place. While the person's entire house doesn't have to be spotless, small things can matter, such as the alignment of the spices in the cabinet.
- No one can touch the garbage – There are also people that cannot touch things that are contaminated for fear of catching a disease.
- Everyone must wash their hands often – People can also be fearful of germs, and this will cause a person with OCD to wash his or her hands often and to make others do this.
You need to understand that whatever fears your spouse has are causing him or her to do the things he or she does all the time. By having a clear understanding of why this is happening you will learn how to deal with it on a daily basis.
Discuss The Problem
The second thing to do is to discuss the problem with your spouse. As you do this, be reassuring, gentle, and patient with your spouse, but clearly state how this problem is affecting you and the children. In many cases, people with OCD do not understand how much their habits are affecting others. When you tell your spouse, there is a chance that he or she may be able to accept this and be willing to make modifications to control the problem.
It is not a good idea to discuss this issue every day, but you may want to set up a time each week to discuss progress, feelings, and modifications. As you talk about these things, make sure you are sensitive with your spouse's feelings, and you can do this by offering to help him or her complete the tasks that are most important to your spouse.
Seek Marriage Counseling
Marriage counseling could also make a difference in your marriage. Talking about the problem with a neutral party is often helpful on its own, but marriage counselors may also recommend using cognitive behavioral therapy.
Through cognitive behavioral therapy, people can often learn how to replace bad habits with good ones. It can help people learn to think differently, and this is an ideal solution for a person with OCD.
Not only can it help your spouse with his or her addiction, but cognitive therapy may also be beneficial for you as the person living with an OCD spouse. Through this, you may learn more about the disorder and ways to help your spouse overcome it.
If you are having problems in your marriage because your spouse has OCD, there is hope. Learning how to handle this situation can be helpful, but seeking marriage counseling can also be a vital step in helping you save your marriage.
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