Fighting in marriage is fairly normal, but it should not be something you and your spouse do constantly. When you fight too much, it can lead to further problems and can even eventually lead to a breakdown of the marriage. Persistent fighting is something you can learn to stop, and doing this will make your marriage better. You can attend marriage counseling--through a place like Associates For Counseling & Psychotherapy--for help with this, and one important thing you will learn is why couples fight. Once you understand the main reasons couples fight, you may be able to learn how to fix this huge problem. Here are three common reasons married couples fight.
Differences In Opinions, Thoughts, And Ways Of Life
When a couple gets married, each spouse brings in various ways of thinking, opinions, and thoughts, and these are rarely similar between the spouses. Each spouse has different ideas about what marriage should be like, what life is about, and how things are handled, and these differences can lead to major fights. These types of fights are often about:
- Money – how it is earned and spent
- Children – how they are raised and punished
- Housework – how clean the house should be and who should do the work
- Time spent together – what this means and how the time is spent
Even though you and your spouse have different thoughts on matters like these, you can learn not to fight about them. Through marriage counseling, you can learn how to turn these differences into positive attributes. You can also learn better communication skills, which will help you reach common ground with these areas. By doing this, you may be able to come up with ways to handle these situations that you are both satisfied and comfortable with.
Sex
Another huge reason couples fight is over sex. Sex is an important part of marriage for many reasons, yet many couples have a hard time with this subject. A major source of conflict over sex is related to the differences in sex drives of each spouse. Not only can a husband and wife have differences relating to the frequency of sex, but they also commonly have differences relating to the timing of the sex and the acts completed during intimate encounters.
Having sex that is satisfying and often enough for both spouses is very important. Sex creates and builds intimacy in a relationship. It also satisfies natural desires, feelings, and longings in both husbands and wives.
If sex is the issue you fight about most, seeking help from a marriage counselor can help. Through counseling, you can learn about the importance of sexual relations in your marriage, and you may be able to find out what is hindering your sexual relationship.
If you are the spouse who always wants to have sex, you may learn steps you can take that would encourage your spouse to meet your needs. If you are the spouse who is not interested, you might be able to learn steps you can take that would help you become more interested.
Failed Expectations
Failed expectations is another reason couples fight. When each spouse enters the relationship, they may have expectations for the marriage. When their spouse fails to meet these, it can lead to disappointment and fighting. Many couples enter marriage with unrealistic expectations, and this is a recipe for disaster.
If you fight with your spouse over issues that fall in this category, marriage counseling can help. You will be able to learn why expectations are sometimes a bad thing and how you can work together as a team to come up with real expectations for your relationship.
All married couples fight, but fighting should not be the main aspect of your marriage. If you are ready to have a great marriage, seek help today from a marriage counseling center.
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